


Chocolate Hazelnut Spread

by panda_shi



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comfort Food, Competition, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, Love, M/M, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Snacks & Snack Food
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:48:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23980348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panda_shi/pseuds/panda_shi
Summary: Tenzou knows just how much of a sweet tooth Iruka really is. He is no longer surprised by it. Until the chocolate hazelnut spread had gone on a super sale in their local supermarket.
Relationships: Umino Iruka & Yamato | Tenzou, Umino Iruka/Yamato | Tenzou
Comments: 9
Kudos: 68





	Chocolate Hazelnut Spread

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rikacain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rikacain/gifts).



> Self beta'd.

Tenzou knows just how much of a sweet tooth Iruka really is. 

Throughout the years of their relationship. Tenzou has witnessed Iruka demolish an entire large box of daifuku, consume several sticks of dango with just _one_ cup of tea. He has witnessed Iruka sit through three servings honey toast at a cafe, has watched him eat several pieces of custard taiyaki. Iruka can down glass after glass of noxiously sweet cocktails. One year, Iruka had come home a little tipsy after dinner with his fellow Acaemy colleagues; he received two large birthday cakes. Tenzou had woken up and watched, with a bit of a cringe how Iruka had parked his delightful rump on a kitchen stool, and proceeded to eat through both sixteen-inch in diameter cakes. By himself. 

Tenzou knows Iruka can pack in all the sugar. He also knows how Iruka trains, how smart it is, when his current status in the village doesn’t exactly give him the luxury to train for a half a day like active field shinobi like Tenzou, who does get a day or two off here and there, provided they’re not injured. He’s seen how Iruka trains; Tenzou has taken part in Iruka’s training. It’s not exactly easy; so that love for sugar? Well, Tenzou is no longer surprised by it. 

Nor is Tenzou completely concerned by it. Iruka knows moderation and manages himself quite well. 

(Something Tenzou has always found attractive.)

Until the chocolate hazelnut spread had gone on a super sale in their local supermarket.

*

It is routine to pick up groceries together every three days, especially when Tenzou is home.

They are on their way to the checkout counter when Iruka pause with their cart at the sight of chocolate hazelnut spread jars, arranged in a neat pyramid, a large white sign in red marker reading: 85% OFF.

It’s the very good kind.

The kind that Iruka doesn’t like to indulge in very much - not because he’s thrifty - but because Iruka is smart with his budget. Iruka isn’t the kind to throw away hundreds of ryos for a jar of chocolate hazelnut spread when he can use the exact amount for something more substantial - like a generous portion of fish or chicken.

Iruka stands there, like he’s debating the most important decision he has to make in his life. Tenzou knows Iruka is doing math in his head, as he stares at the new, incredibly low price (it might as well have been for free).

Tenzou decides to make the decision for him.

Tenzou reaches out for _two_ of the jars from the pyramid and places it in their cart, right on top of the box of laundry detergent. 

It earns him a surprised look from Iruka, a bit of a cute, adorable flush brushing over his cheeks. It makes Tenzou reach up to press a warm, affectionate hand between Iruka’s shoulderblades, right above the jagged plane of scars under the fabric of his shirt. It’s a subtle gesture, further softened with a bit of a lopsided smile curling around the corner of Tenzou’s lips -- he does enjoy indulging Iruka in the things he loves but would exercise a lot of self-control with.

Tenzou starts to guide their cart away to the check out counter.

Except the cart doesn’t budge.

Because Iruka’s hands are white knuckled over the handle.

And with every bit of inner horror, shock and maybe a little worry, Tenzou is forced to stand there, like he’s nothing more than a wallflower, as Iruka starts to fill the cart with _several_ jars of chocolate hazelnut spread.

About half the jar pyramid worth.

And still counting.

Tenzou has to reach deep down in his soul, past the horror, past the wonderment if this is a practical joke that Iruka is very much intent on unfolding on Tenzou, one that Tenzou is but a victim to this prank. Thirty jars later, Tenzou manages to blink the dryness from his eyes, remembers that he has a pair of lungs that are indeed functional, that his voice box has not, in fact, been ripped off by an invisible enemy and that he - amidst this unfolding sugar crisis happening on their decent and very practical shopping cart - must be the voice of reason.

Because clearly Iruka has lost his fucking mind.

There are enough jars in the cart fitting for a small corner store! Where the hell are they even going to _stock_ all this in the apartment?

Tenzou supposes, he can create some storage unit that can double as a bench of sorts by the kitchen wall.

But that's beside the point!

This is insane. And must be stopped.

“Iruka,” Tenzou begins. Quite strong. “Is this really a necessity?”

iruka looks at the forty-some jars in the cart and then meets Tenzou’s gaze head on. Uncowed. Unafraid. Brown eyes gleaming with confidence, something razor sharp within those speckled with good depths, his jaw line set in a perfectly relaxed and not-at-all threatening -- that is, if you were the kind of idiot to not see past the chunin, the pretty face and the rank.

“Yes,” Iruka says. 

Polite. Proper. Punctuated with a bit of what Tenzou liked to call the office-smile.

Yeah...

Tenzou isn’t stupid.

So whatever voice of reason he may have had, promptly gets squashed down by that look, that smile and that single syllable answer.

If Iruka wants all forty-seven jars, then Tenzou is going to throw his hard earned money at all forty-seven jars. 

In fact, it seemed a little odd to stop at forty-seven.

So Tenzou grabs three more just to be even.

*

That night, after a lovely dinner, Tenzou heads over to his favorite corner of the couch, a steaming mug of tea in hand. He waits for a few minutes for Iruka to join him and finds it odd that Iruka doesn’t. Especially when this is Iruka favorite thing to do when Tenzou is home.

Tenzou wonders if maybe Iruka is shoving last minute laundry into the washing machine, or maybe he’s just marinating something, just to save some time for preparations in the morning. Or maybe, he’s doing last minute Academy work. Iruka didn’t come home with a big stack of work books that day, so maybe it’s something involving a plan or a meeting.

Tenzou gives Iruka another fifteen minutes.

When Iruka still doesn’t join him on the sofa, Tenzou frowns, feeling a little ignored and a little dismissed.

He stands up then, picking up his now very empty cup of tea, switching the television off to find Iruka seated on a kitchen stool, his feet hooked around the legs, elbows propped on the counter, as he _licks_ a very large spoon clean with his tongue, eyes closed in what Tenzou can only describe as bliss. The only time Iruka has ever worn such a face is when Tenzou comes in his mouth and he’s licking cum off the softening length of his cock. 

There’s an open jar of chocolate hazelnut spread in front of Iruka, a good quarter of it already gone. Tenzou watches, partly in awe, partly with heat, and a lot of worry and just a little bit of squeamish not-quite-disgust, as Iruka chews his lower lip, turns his gaze back down on the jar as he tucks a lock of loose hair behind his ear and proceeds to scoop the _biggest_ , most _generous_ dollop of sweet, creamy, luscious chocolate hazelnut spread with that very large spoon.

Tenzou watches how that pink tongue licks a generous amount of that spoon, how Iruka seems to sort of nod just the tiniest bit to himself, as if silently saying, yes, this is exactly how things should be.

Tenzou isn’t at all disgusted by Iruka’s current and very open appetite display.

But he can’t quite wrap his head around the idea of what he’s watching. Tenzou is a hundred percent sure that what Iruka is doing is against a lot of health advice. It’s not that Tenzou doesn’t appreciate a sweet treat every now and then. But Tenzou is a little more field-practical in what he eats anyway. He’s the kind of guy who isn’t afraid to endorse the caloric benefits of ration bars, how they’re quite useful and very nutritionally dense even when their flavor matches that of wet newspapers doused in mild syrup for ‘flavoring’. And they just had the most wonderful grilled fish for dinner, with an assortment of side dishes and soup -- how Iruka can ruin that wonderful dinner with all _that_ is a mystery. 

“Iruka…” Tenzou begins. He must _say_ something. One more dollop and Iruka would have consumed half a 450 gram jar! “Isn’t that a bit too much?”

It is with horrid fascination that Tenzou watches Iruka dip that spoon _again_ into the jar while he continues to stand there, holding his empty mug, like he’s nothing more than the many house plants in their living room. It’s like watching a train wreck happen. He can’t look away.

Not even when Iruka _snorts,_ rolls his eyes and proceeds to scoop that generous dollop into his mouth. Tenzou’s stomach does a bit of a lurch at that, because he can only imagine how noxiously sweet it must all be to the palate after the first spoonful alone. 

“What do you think I keep you around for? Social status?” Iruka shakes his head, punctuating the question with a _disappointed_ click of his tongue, as if the answer should have been obvious.

Tenzou sets his empty mug down on the counter, lowering himself to one of the stools because if he’s going to make himself a little nauseous, it’s best to do so sitting down.

Tenzou’s response could not have been more tarty. “Well, clearly to finance your love for chocolate hazelnut spread.”

Iruka makes a cheeky, sarcastic face. The kind where he wrinkles his nose, and curls one side of his lip upwards in absolute distaste, leaving one to feel like they're nothing but chewed gum stuck onto the bottom of his shoe. Tenzou has seen Iruka direct this look to _some_ of his colleagues (Ebisu), a few mission room staff and more often than not, his friends (usually Kotetsu). But Tenzou has never been at the receiving end of it. He’d been proud of that fact up until this very moment. Iruka further salts the wound with pointing the licked-very-clean spoon at Tenzou, shaking it at a little bit like he’s talking to his youngest class! Tenzou can hear the words in the action: you’re such an idiot, it is almost adorable. 

And if that isn’t insult to injury, Iruka actually _hums_ bemusedly.

Tenzou wants to laugh.

His pride wants him to grab that spoon, toss it across the room and pin Iruka down on the kitchen island, give him something better to lick, something he’d oh so surely love more. 

His idiot-in-love self simply sits there, like an obedient puppy, completely bemused at the love of his life unraveling before him, his nose wrinkling once more in preparation for a lecture.

That comes in three, two, one:

“After all these years, you still have failed to grasp the fact that the only reason I keep you around is for your cock. But don’t worry. I understand. Sometimes, when we are stressed, our mental state gets slowed down. I will present you with an opportunity to _correct_ this oversight by allowing you to fully _fulfil_ your true purpose in this relationship. Give me a second. Last spoon.” 

Tenzou is grinning, chuckling as Iruka holds up a finger, that spoon dipping itself into the jar one last time for one last dollop that Iruka pointedly shoves into his mouth while holding Tenzou’s gaze, his lips pressing down, cheeks just a touched hollowed, before Iruka pulls out the spoon with a popping noise.

Wow.

Tenzou has never felt more objectified than he did at that moment.

His cock is already hard.

“How do I even…” Tenzou sighs, shaking his head.

“You’re a smart man,” Iruka sets the spoon down, his feet dropping back down to the ground, a hand coming to press on Tenzou’s side, fingers gently fiddling with the short hairs by Tenzou’s ear, his words dropping to a whisper. “I’m sure a man of your caliber can come up with a way to assist me in mitigating this very, calorically high treat? What was it they call you? Ah, _buntaichou_ , right?”

Iruka pats the side of Tenzou’s upper thigh, the gesture not helping at all with the arousal Iruka has pretty much dumped down Tenzou’s back like a large, giant mug of hot water.

“You may have a few minutes to strategize, while I shower.” Iruka steps away, pressing a kiss to Tenzou’s cheek rather sweetly. 

“How kind,” Tenzou snorts, watching as Iruka disappears into their bedroom for that shower.

There’s no winning against Iruka.

Tenzou picks up and reads the nutritional value on the now half empty jar. 

Okay. 

1,250 kilocalorie shouldn’t be that hard to burn off. Iruka will probably have to call in sick the next day, because there’s no way Iruka’s walking straight, let alone be able to stand for hours teaching. Certainly not when Tenzou is done with him. 

Which Tenzou thinks should serve Iruka right for all that pertinent arrogance and smart mouth of his. 

Iruka can go ahead and think he’s won this one. 

It’s really, adorably cute when Iruka thinks he’s won.

FIN

**Author's Note:**

> Tenzou. You did not win. But it's okay. It's cute when you think you're the winner hahaha.
> 
> Also, I used the nutritional info of NUTELLA for this one. 
> 
> Feel free to yell/scream or come say hi @pinkcatharsis tumblr.


End file.
